Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
