That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
