i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
