I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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