Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
