brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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