i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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