Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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