we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
