I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
