Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
