U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
