I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
