you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize