The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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