I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
