I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
