Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You can't motorboat a personality
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
