I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
