hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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