Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
