Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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