My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am one with the molecules
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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