I can text with my tongue
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
