She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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