Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
