he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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