at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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