So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
