Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
