So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize