the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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