Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
