Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
