butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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