if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
