in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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