Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
