Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
