yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
