only you would photoshop your dick
Operation Purity has been aborted
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
