The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude i'm inner monologue high
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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