I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
