I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
