hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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