And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just had sex on a roof
I need to sanitize my soul.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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