I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
