There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
