I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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