it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
