My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Randomize
