That's intense
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
