Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
