You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
