If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
