just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
