so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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