5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish you could order shots online.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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