you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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