His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
