she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
