I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it was like eating out sand paper
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
