singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
