On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
